Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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