Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I wish you could order shots online.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Randomize
