you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
