I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
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