Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Drunk is not a location!
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
