Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
