If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
Randomize
