Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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