you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
True strength comes from lack of pants
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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