READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
Randomize
