pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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