Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
They were done having sex when I went to the room. They had that look on their faces.
Disappointment?
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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