btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
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