There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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