Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Ketchup is God's man juice
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize
