So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
I can always tell I missed tequila night based on the hickeys on your neck man. Fucking call me.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
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