where am i from again
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
