Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
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