Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
