i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
FUCK WHALES
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
