fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I wish my penis had an off switch
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
