He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
