i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
Randomize
