My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
Normally getting fucked up with the owner and suggesting he motorboat me wouldn’t help my chances of a promotion, but this is 2020 and he definitely enjoyed it
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