My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
