I'm going to jail i love you
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
