i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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