The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Randomize
