shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
I FOUND THE LEGS
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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