i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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