haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Randomize
