using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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