will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Randomize
