What a fucking waste of an outfit
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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