Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
