Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
