I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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