im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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