Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
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