you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
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