Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(402): View more from Nebraska

New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area

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(281): View more from Texas

Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.

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(513): View more from Ohio

He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him

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(513): View more from Ohio

I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny

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(913): View more from Kansas

Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing

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(+61): View more from Australia

Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left

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(516): View more from New York

Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?

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