9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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