dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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