I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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