Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Randomize
