Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
The best way to start drinking is as early as possible. eg, this bar isn't open but we're patiently waiting outside. That way you're confident and exciting when the talent arrives. Or too drunk to care.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
