Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
