i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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