my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
