Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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