Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
Randomize
