Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
