I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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