walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
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