Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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