I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
