Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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