I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
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