He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Even tho I saw his penis. He is still a really nice guy.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
when he put a condom on for a handjob cuz he didn't want to "blow his load in the car" i started to question my choice in guys..
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize