Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
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